A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.
  - B. L. Taylor
%%
Oh gracious, why wasn't I born old and ugly?
  - Dickens
%%
Weather is a literary specialty, and no untrained hand
can turn out a good article on it.
  - M. Twain
%%
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
  - S. Goldwyn
%%
"Classic." A book which people praise and don't read.
  - M. Twain
%%
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
  - Benjamin Franklin
%%
Everything is funny as long as it is happening
to someone else.
  - Will Rogers
%%
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
  - Groucho Marx
%%
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie
is that a cat has only nine lives.
  - M. Twain
%%
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral?
It is because we are not the person involved.
  - M. Twain
%%
When angry, count four;
when very angry, swear.
  - M. Twain
%%
A perfect vacuum exists only in the minds of men.
  - P. H. Beck
%%
Those whose courses are different cannot lay plans for one another.
  - Confucian Analects Bk. 15:39
%%
Learning without thought is labor lost;
thought without learning is perilous.
  - Confucian Analects Bk. 2:15
%%
The falsely dramatic drives out the truly dull.
  - Gennerat's Law
%%
Our universe is simply one of those things that happen from time to time.
  - Edward Tryon
%%
When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains,
however improbable, must be the truth.
  - Sherlock Holmes
%%
admiration, n.
Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
  - Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%%
bore, n.
A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
  - Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%%
coward, n.
One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
  - Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%%
What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
%%
Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
  - Simeon Strunsky
%%
To go beyond is as wrong as to fall short.
  - Confucian Analects, Bk. 11:15,iii
%%
He who speaks without modesty will find
it difficult to make his words good.
  - Confucian Analects, Bk. 14:21
%%
Heaven and earth are not humane.
They regard all things as straw dogs.
  - Lao Tzu
%%
He who knows others is wise.
He who knows himself is enlightened.
  - Lao Tzu
%%
He who knows does not speak.
He who speaks does not know.
  - Lao Tzu
%%
To know that you do not know is the best.
To pretend to know when you do not know is a disease.
  - Lao Tzu
%%
Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.
  - Theophrastus
%%
You cannot put the same shoe on every foot.
  - Publilius Syrus
%%
If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.
  - Sir Isaac Newton
%%
The probability of someone watching you is
proportional to the stupidity of your action.
  - A. Kindsvater
%%
The various forms of worship, which prevailed in the Roman world,
were all considered by the people as equally true; by the philosopher,
as equally false; and by the magistrate, as equally useful.
  - Edward Gibbon, "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire"
%%
Of course you realize this means war!
  - Bugs Bunny
%%
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds;
and the pessimist fears this is true.
  - James Branch Cabell
%%
Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
  - From the "Notebooks of Lazarus Long" by Robert Heinlein
%%
Only a mediocre person is always at his best.
  - W. Somerset Maugham
%%
Life is a continuing series of multiple-choice questions, with the answers
torn out of the back of the book.
  - Sydney J. Harris
%%
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what
the Universe is for and why it is  here. it  will instantly disappear and
be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
  - Douglas Adams, "The Restaurant at the end of the Universe"
%%
The following sentence is false.
The preceding sentence is true.
%%
A well-frog cannot imagine the ocean, nor can a
summer insect conceive of ice. How can a scholar
understand the Tao? He is restricted by his own
learning.
  - Chung-tse
%%
panic: can't spare any memory for you today.
%%
!XINIM ni deppart m'I !pleH
%%
panic: page segment violation
%%
panic: not enough memory (hey, I've got some very cheap 41256's for you)
%% 
Heaven wheels above you
Displaying to you eternal glories
And still your eyes are on the ground.
  - Dante
%%
When the mind is disturbed, the multiplicity of things is
produced, but when the mind is quieted, the multiplicity
of things disappears.
  - Ashvaghosha, "The Awakening of Faith.
%%
